Apple News, Analysis and Podcasts

We T-GAAP-ers really appreciated your open letter of advertisement yesterday, showcasing the Samsung Galaxy S II and HTC Amaze. Errrrrt! We really appreciated your open letter, explaining why T-Mobile is having difficulties in obtaining the iPhone and what you are doing to ensure T-Mobile customers can order one as soon as possible, as it is clearly the smartphone of choice.

We were greatly encouraged when you mentioned T-Mobile has over one million customers who are using unlocked iPhones on the T-Mobile network. It is clear that the demand must be staggering for the iPhone on T-Mobile's network, given the fact that over a million customers have bought a new or used iPhone, jailbroke it, and are now using it on the 2G EDGE network — the only option for T-Mobile customers with iPhones. A testimony to how great the iPhone truly is, and we are excited you clearly understand this.

To know that over one million of your customers have chosen this route over any other smartphone heavily promoted in the T-Mobile lineup gives us hope that an authorized iPhone is just around the corner for T-Mobile. We can't wait! In fact, we can wait, for October 4th, when we fully expect Tim Cook to bring you - Mr. Brodman - on stage to show off the latest iPhone/s available via T-Moble. Mr. Brodman, you have set us straight with your open letter, and we now know that great things from T-Moble (iPhone anyone?!), are coming very soon.

Here's to looking forward to what we all know is coming: Apple's iPhone

UPDATE: 

We also discovered an original, unwashed, Greek translation of Mr. Brodman's open letter. We've translated it as best we can, back to English in the hopes this sheds a bit more light on the subject.

By Cole Brodman, Chief Marketing Officer (for now), T-Mobile USA

We’ve heard from many customers who love their T-Mobile service, but are disappointed that we don’t carry the iPhone. To these customers, first and foremost, shut up! You are flat out about to cost me my job! If you want the iPhone that badly, go to Verizon or AT&T, it's really that simple.
Please know that I think the iPhone kicks major booty. Seriously, just look at how we are bleeding customers because of this product that we can't add to our lineup! But let me take a step back and talk about the one million customers using the iPhone on T-Mobile today. They are only doing so because:
A. We are the smallest major carrier, which leaves us settling for tablet scrap smartphones.
B. We are horrific negotiators that can't get anything done.
C. We figured we'd be bought out by AT&T for so much cash I wouldn't care if T-Mobile carried rocks with buttons on them. Sure, we have those now, they're called Blackberry's, but you get the point, I thought I'd be long gone by now.

But since we will not be getting the iPhone for at least another 12 months, let me soak your valuable time by further delivering this paid advertisement for – [insert sponsored smartphones here and here]. Today, I had the chance to take the stage at the Mobilize event in San Francisco and introduce our fastest 3G (Note to Self: It's 4G, 4G, 4G!) smartphones ever, the – {insert sonsored phone here] and the [insert sponsored phone here]. In no way, shape, or form am I confident that these Android smartphones will rival or beat the iPhone, and especially the forthcoming iPhone/s, due to be shown off by Apple on October 4th - not confident in the least.

To make this perfectly clear, I am so desperate in writing to you this open letter, I would like to sway your opinion with some cool words like "Android has evolved quickly from geek to chic." I want to take this time to thank my marketing underlings for that great phrase "geek to chik" that's just sooo way cool! You kids are too much!

In many ways, Android is rivaling and even outpacing the iPhone, as in price. Man are these things getting cheap. Just buy one, we don't care what flavor of the month it is, just lock yourselves up into a two-year deal with us and get it over with already. We love you!

Android is also offering you choice the iPhone doesn't give you, such as:

• Bad
• Really Bad
• Lack of Secrutiy
• Bad - Did I already men

You can also choose from a variety of colorful Android phones, which you will cover over with a case anyway, but you can pick different screen sizes. No, those screens and variety of poor resolutions won't match up with half the spyware, errr, Android apps out there, but they'll kinda fit.

Lastly, if you want a slide-out keyboards, might I suggest a RIM Blackberry, which could soon be a collectors item for you, and that could be a very valuable item some day. In fact, if you get a Blackberry, I'd suggest you keep it sealed in the original box. Just put it on your shelf and watch it appreciate intoa piece of tech history...

All of this is why, for now, our focus continues to be anything but iPhone, because there is no chance we are getting it as long as I, or the rest of this management team is running the show.

Check out our what we'd like to show off but can't offer here: www.attwireless.com/iPhone and here www.verizonwireless.com/iphone
 

0 Comments

Leave your reply